she loves me notThis was entirely unanticipated; her pensive gaze disavowing me,she loves me not by ~belligerentmoxie
blood thundering to my ears. No, I hadn’t meant
to contort, to twist my brain until I believed
that someone kept close, hand in hand,
is someone best kept deceived.
Please, I wanted to say. Don’t look at me with those eyes,
don’t peer at me from across the canyon
that was not there when we met. But I was silent,
and sewed closed my mouth,
and glued my own eyes to the floor,
and I did not move, even when tears blurred my vision
and my back began to ache.
Loneliness is a disease. I wish
I could fracture my mind further, forget that once
we interlocked our pi
she loves meWhile we weren’t looking,she loves me by ~belligerentmoxie
a garden grew underneath our fingernails.
Wispy tendrils of vine sprouted from yours and mine,
A shared spectacle in plain sight,
Watered with whispers and notes and sharp, cat-like grins.
Promises we couldn’t keep. Weeds flourished with little prompt, tiny snags,
and even though they started as nothing; decayed petals soon scattered across the soil,
and blossoms, once a fiery red, blackened and died;
and dark, brooding violets withered, choked from starvation.
and even though we pinky-swore I can’t love you anymore.
Salt the earth here, make it barren, free it from your grasp.