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she loves me notThis was entirely unanticipated; her pensive gaze disavowing me,
blood thundering to my ears. No, I hadn’t meant
to contort, to twist my brain until I believed
that someone kept close, hand in hand,
is someone best kept deceived.
Please, I wanted to say. Don’t look at me with those eyes,
don’t peer at me from across the canyon
that was not there when we met. But I was silent,
and sewed closed my mouth,
and glued my own eyes to the floor,
and I did not move, even when tears blurred my vision
and my back began to ache.
Loneliness is a disease. I wish
I could fracture my mind further, forget that once
we interlocked our pinky fingers
and made a vow fit for a wedding.
she loves meWhile we weren’t looking,
a garden grew underneath our fingernails.
Wispy tendrils of vine sprouted from yours and mine,
A shared spectacle in plain sight,
Watered with whispers and notes and sharp, cat-like grins.
Promises we couldn’t keep. Weeds flourished with little prompt, tiny snags,
and even though they started as nothing; decayed petals soon scattered across the soil,
and blossoms, once a fiery red, blackened and died;
and dark, brooding violets withered, choked from starvation.
and even though we pinky-swore I can’t love you anymore.
Salt the earth here, make it barren, free it from your grasp.
I’ll sow flowers anew, far from your weeds and smiles and bright, deceptive eyes,
that I was so foolish as to trust. If only
I could ransack my mind, my heart, kill memory with pesticide
and forget that I saw you with your own two hands
planting dandelion seeds.
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Lilyas has dedicated herself to making our community a brighter place with her vibrant artwork and infectious enthusiasm for interacting with others in our community. It has certainly paid off, as many deviants flock to her page on a daily basis to let her know how much of an inspiration she is. We absolutely agree, and couldn't let all that hard work go without recognition, so it's with great pride that we bestow the Deviousness Award for March 2014, to ... Read More